Ok, you asked for it!
When I was about 14 or so, I had a band. This was back in Ohio. The bass player was this dude we all called "Bummer" because he, well, was always too drunk, always slurring and always bummed out.
Anyway, we were at a house party and we were running low on beer. The only guy old enough to buy beer was the owner of the house, so we all gave him money and he ran off to the store.
It was night. It was dark in the back yard. Nobody thought of turning on the porch lights.
Anyway, we're sitting around and Bummer says, "Hey! Check out what I just got!" and pulls out a gun (a 9mm).
We're all like "Wow, cool!"
He says, "It's loaded, check it out!" and points it off into the yard and fires it.
We all hear a "Yelp!" and a faint plop.
Now we remember to turn on the porch lights, and it turns out that Bummer just shot the guy's dog right between the eyes.
Now, you'd think we'd all be worried that we shot the guy's dog, right? WRONG.
We are alcoholics.
All we were worried about was that if the guy came home and found out that we shot his dog, he wouldn't give us the beer.
So we went into the house, got hefty bags, wrapped the dog up in them, and then tossed it into the rafters in the garage.
...then we promptly forgot about it...
...and we got our beer.
The guy kept asking, "Did anyone see my dog?" and we just said, "Nope, haven't seen him."
The next day, I walked into band practice with a new song, which I taught the band. As always then, and since, it took the drummer awhile to get the timing (it's harder than it seems, drummers, try it!) down, but by the time of the show that saturday we had it down.
That song was "Dead Dogs".
SO... to continue... we went and played the club and the guy was there.
I introduced the song by saying "We have a new song, hope you all like it, it's a love song you know. Grab the person next to you, don't worry it's not gay or anything... and wipe back those tears, because here we go!" (or something to that effect).
We played the song.
The guy was standing right in the front the whole time. By his face, we could tell that he found the dog (most likely by smell) but hadn't told anyone yet--yet we had a song about it.
Thing was, everyone in the club KNEW what happened and that we were going to do this song except the guy!
When the song was over, the guy was fuming, just standing there, and in unison, at the same time, the entire club points at Bummer and said, together, "He did it!"
Bummer threw his bass down, screamed "You asshole traitors!" and took off, the guy chashing him.
It went outside and we could almost set our watches (if we had any) to them passing the door as they ran around and around the block.
Anyway, years later at a BT practice I remembered this and decided to do the song again as a personal tribute to my past.
The version on "Primitive Enema" is note perfect to the original, by the way. Even the solo.
Back then, after the Dead Dogs "joke" wore off, I rewrote it into a different version that I called "Dead Babies (Under the Sink)" but that was only played live a couple of times that I can remember. THAT version will remain in my past history. It was rather tasteless
Good times.
